Back Short Bits

Top Ten Politically Correct Terms of the Future

     The future. A big, shiny, scary place, filled with angry street mobs, disgruntled postal employees with access to automatic weapons, and clones of sheep. Also, a haven for the Politically Correct attitudes of the Nineties. To avoid trouble, please familiarize yourself with these Politcally Correct terms, which will come into play as science progresses.

  1. They're not space aliens, they're "Terrestrially Challenged".
  2. They're not androids, they're "Hydraulically Enabled".
  3. They're not clones, they're "Originality Impaired", or, alternatively, "Genome Engendered".
  4. Its not a bug eyed monster, its an "Alternatively Beautiful Gender Nonspecific Being".
  5. They're not space pirates, they're "Alternative Shipping Practitioners".
  6. Homicidal artificial intelligence computers, hell bent on killing the space ship's entire crew, are to be referred to as "Biologically Inimical Silicon Entities".
  7. Invasions from other planets are no longer referred to by such grotesque terms as "alien invasions". Instead, they are to be referred to as "Enforced Interspecies Interaction".
  8. People capable of Jedi mind tricks may no longer refer to others as "weak minded". Instead, they must call them "Intellectually Malleable".
  9. Alien species single-mindedly dedicated to the complete destruction of the human race are to be referred to as "Humanity Adverse".
  10. Human brains, kept alive in a saline solution, are to be referred to as "Cranially Dysfunctional", or "Cerebrally Unfettered".


© 1998 by Garry J. Sled